


big problems

by Anonymous



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Body Modification, M/M, Size Kink, sex comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:01:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28205037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Skywarp's new mod is not working out for him nearly as well as he'd hoped.  Fortunately Thundercracker doesn't mind.
Relationships: Skywarp/Starscream/Thundercracker (Transformers), Skywarp/Thundercracker (Transformers)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51
Collections: Anonymous





	big problems

The mod shop owner blinked at Skywarp when he made his request, then sighed and ran a hand over their spike-studded head. Multi-colored flashing biolights along their arms and torso and a display screen inlaid in their chest that jittered with ever-changing shapes suggested they were very much the recipient of their own practice. “All right,” they said finally, “I mean, that’s a pretty common request, but I’m obligated to warn everyone who asks for it that it’s not as good as it sounds.”

“What do you mean,” said Skywarp, crossing his arms. “Everyone _knows_ bigger is better.”

“In theory, sure,” said the shop owner, “everyone wants one, but in practice it doesn’t often work out. Becomes a lot harder to find partners who can actually adjust to it. You sure you don’t want just, like, slightly bigger than average?”

“ _I’m_ the one paying _you,_ ” snarled Skywarp, and the shop owner held up both hands.

“All right, all right, I guess you’ll deal with it somehow. Here, this way—”

They led him to a back room screened off for privacy, then pulled up a size chart, circled with a stylus the options that were compatible with his pelvic frame, and sighed through their vents when Skywarp immediately tapped the biggest one in that range. “I should have known. All right, pop it out.”

Skywarp had expected it would be sexy—had kind of hoped the shop owner would be a pretty little thing who would work over his spike with smooth and skillful hands and maybe he could get a happy ending out of it—but it turned out there was absolutely nothing sexy about having all the nerve circuits in your pelvis clamped off and the outer layers of your spike dismantled ring by ring under the bright glare of a work lamp.

“How much longer,” he said petulantly, when the shop owner was still teasing out the lubricant feed lines over the newly expanded base structure.

“Cool your thrusters,” they said, flapping a hand at him, “there’s still a lot more to go.”

So Skywarp had to sit through an engineering assistant re-mapping the delicate sensory circuitry in a long and tendious process of laser etching, and then got strapped down onto the table as half his pelvic internals were restructured to make room for it in its collapsed form. After that the shop owner overlaid the new top layer of collapsing rings onto the behemoth being installed onto him, then finally reconnected his nerves and had him expand and retract it a few times to make sure that worked.

“I’ll give you a moment to test out the function,” said the shop owner dryly, “let me know when you’re done,” and left him alone. So Skywarp did in fact get a happy ending out of it, only it was one he could have given himself at home, and it wasn’t as good as it could have been because everything down there was still a little numb and tingly. He complained of this to the shop owner while wiping himself off with the cloth they offered, but they only said, “That’s normal—your body’s still adjusting. If it still feels that way in a week then come back here,” and took his payment and sent him on his way.

Back in his cramped quarters, Skywarp popped it back out in front of a mirror and eyed it approvingly, turning from side to side. Damn right, it was _big_. Nice and shiny with the newness of paint, and he couldn’t even fit his whole hand around it—he had to use both hands to jack off, which just drove home in his processor how damn big the thing was and made it hotter. The numbness was already starting to dissipate, and proper sensitivity coming back in; he ran a finger over the underside, and the lightstrip there glowed faintly in response.

He was going to have so much fun with this.

***

“No,” said the Decepticon grunt he’d managed to pull, half a millennium later. In his defense, they were at war, and it was hard to get laid regularly when you were at war. “Absolutely not.”

Skywarp crossed his arms belligerently. “Why not?”

“I’m a _two-wheeler_ ,” said his partner in indignation, his legs already spread and his valve dilated, and, yeah, Skywarp could admit that was not going to fit unless they took some measures. “You think I’m going to jam that _monster_ inside me and risk internal damage?”

“You could reconfigure your internals,” said Skywarp, popping out his bottom lip stubbornly.

“Still wouldn’t fit. That’s over my maximum pelvic capacity, come on, you can tell at a glance.”

“Fine,” conceded Skywarp. “Your mouth, then.”

“My—” An exasperated sigh. “Hot wings, I’m two thirds your size. That is _not_ going to fit in my _mouth_ either.”

The solution they both worked out involved Skywarp rubbing himself off on the outside of the smaller guy’s valve, feeling very disgruntled. And, yeah, it felt good, they both got off, and with the size of Skywarp’s spike he could easily rub it on the other guy’s valve and spike at the same time, which he seemed to enjoy a lot. But what was the point if you couldn’t put it _in_ someone?

Clearly, he was going to have to start finding bigger partners.

***

“Oh,” said the heavy-duty hauler with a weakness for fliers, in earnest tones, “I don’t like tight fits, sorry.”

Skywarp stared at them. “But that’s the whole point!” he burst out, frustrated.

“Not for me,” said the hauler, apologetically, “I like it when there’s room for me to relax more down there, without anything straining anything else. It just feels better if you’re not all stretched out, you know?”

“Whatever,” said Skywarp, sulking. “What do you suggest instead, then?”

They ended up 69’ing. The hauler was very good with their mouth, lavishing attention over every part of Skywarp’s array with a slow and devoted tongue, and he ended up mostly just helplessly clinging on to their hips while being dragged towards a mind-shattering overload. It was—great, actually, Skywarp had to manually reboot his motion coordinator afterwards to be able to move his limbs properly. But it still wasn’t the same as getting to actually _use_ the damn thing he’d paid good money for, for its _intended_ purpose.

“I had a lot of fun,” said his partner afterwards, beaming, “give me a ring again sometime, okay?” and Skywarp proceeded to not do that.

***

Starscream very clearly thought he was doing Skywarp some kind of big favor by cornering him in an out-of-the-way hallway and tracing a slow sensuous hand up his panel. Thought he was Primus’ gift to the universe, that one. But it had been a while, and Skywarp had caught enough of a glimpse of Starscream’s porn drive laden with pretty jets getting pounded to know that he was a valve guy, which suited Skywarp just fine; he popped his panels with no small amount of enthusiasm.

Starscream stared as Skywarp’s spike extended to its full length, his mouth opening wider. Skywarp waited smugly for the admiration, but instead Starscream burst out laughing hard enough he nearly fell over.

“ _What,_ ” said Skywarp, beyond affronted. He couldn’t catch a break, could he?!

“You _paid money_ for that,” wheezed Starscream. “You actually went and—of all the things you could have altered—”

“How do you know,” said Skywarp hotly, “maybe it’s natural,” but he was cut off by a fresh burst of laugher.

“Skywarp, I’ve never seen a body part more completely out of proportion with everything else around it,” Starscream crowed. With a voice like his, all the laughter was seriously starting to grate on Skywarp’s ears. “There’s no _way_ that’s natural. Tell me, how is that carnival attraction between your legs working out for you, hmm? Has your diminutive brain successfully validated you as a big strong virile mech?”

“Whatever,” snapped Skywarp, aflame with embarrassment. “I didn’t ask for _your_ opinion.”

“Well, I definitely won’t be touching _that_ ,” said Starscream with amusement, and true to his word he ended up fingering Skywarp fast and hard and then rode his face after Skywarp came all over his hand. He was still snickering to himself intermittently the whole time. Bastard.

***

“Oh,” said Thundercracker, eyes going very round as Skywarp opened up for him. “Oh, Primus, yes.”

It was to the point where Skywarp had to do something of a double take when he heard that. “That’s… good, right?”

“So good,” said Thundercracker fervently, eyes honest-to-god _sparkling_ , and reached out to cup both hands around Skywarp’s spike. “Can I… can I put my mouth on it?”

“Sure,” said Skywarp, and Thundercracker proceeded to do so with great enthusiasm, eyes going half-lidded in contentment as he crammed as much of it into his stretched-open mouth as possible. He actually managed to get a very impressive amount of it down his throat, deeper into his fuel intake than Skywarp had ever seen happen except maybe in porn. Thundercracker still didn’t appear able to take the whole length, but from the blissful noises he made as Skywarp fucked into his mouth—gingerly at first, then gaining momentum—he didn’t seem to mind.

“Yeah,” he panted after Skywarp pulled out in one slow unending stroke, vocalizer fizzing with static from the pressure it had just undergone. There was a bit of transfluid dribbling down his chin; Skywarp had overloaded down his fuel intake in about five seconds flat. “Yeah, that’s good, oh Primus, that’s _big_ …”

“Never seen throat skills like that before,” said Skywarp, still dazed himself from how fast it had gone.

“I practice with a toy,” said Thundercracker, pawing impatiently at Skywarp’s spike again. “Skywarp can we put it in me now please please _please_.”

This was such a 180 from how Skywarp’s other times had gone that he was having trouble believing his luck, but by the time they got Thundercracker all splayed out with the thick blunt head of Skywarp’s spike pressing at his entrance, he was starting to feel the faint dawning glow of an unimaginable smugness. “Oh yeah, baby,” he said, nudging just a little bit inside, “tell me how much you want it.”

“That sounds so fake and corny when you say it like that,” Thundercracker informed him, but he also sounded way too blissed-out and excited to care. “Right now, Skywarp, oh yes, _please_.”

They managed to get it most of the way in before Thundercracker tapped out, but there was still about a third of the length left to go. “We’re going to have to work me open over time to fit it all,” said Thundercracker breathlessly. The flexsteel of his valve rim was stretched so tight it was flushing energon pink; a little bit of extra lubricant dribbled out in enthusiasm at his own words. “Multiple sessions. Just stretching me out and getting me nice and used to it, until I can take all of it, oh _yes_.”

Now _that_ was more like it! _This_ was what Skywarp had envisioned when he got this stuff installed! “Hell yeah we can do that,” he said smugly, and started thrusting.

Starscream, who had the access codes to all their quarters like the snake he was, came in not long after, when Skywarp was merrily taking Thundercracker to pound town and Thundercracker was spread out blissfully across the recharge bed, cooling engines roaring. “Tell me how big it is,” Skywarp was panting, and Thundercracker was slurring, “ _Sssooo_ big, _yesss_ ,” and Starscream spared a long judgmental look at them both. Skywarp flipped him off without breaking his rhythm, and Starscream shrugged his wings, rummaged in Skywarp’s drawer for the space heater Skywarp had borrowed—hey, Skywarp wasn’t done with it yet, what the fuck—and left.

“Asshole,” muttered Skywarp, and Thundercracker wrapped his legs around his midsection, pulling him closer.

“Don’t worry about him,” he murmured dreamily, “let’s see if we can fit more of it in me, huh?” and Skywarp was only too happy to oblige.

**Author's Note:**

> to be clear, i do _not_ agree with skywarp's implied view in this fic of non-penetrative sex as lesser or not real, but he seems to me the type to think that. so.
> 
> if you liked it leave a comment telling me what you liked most thank you!!


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